User blog:TeamUnitedNerds/Fics Will Be Reviewed and Blood will be Shed
Alright. TUN is back and reviewing at full power. I assure you this will be the most brutal and mercyless reviews ever. Are you ready? Submit your stuff in the comments. Keep in mind that if you get at least a D, Kami smiles upon you Katarina's Day Pros #As overused as this conecept is, I enjoyed this one more than its peers. #Overall pretty funny, and everyone is in their UDBW character #Some pretty amussing dialouge #Something about True being a drunken fool is funny. #I am TUN Cornelius Baker craked me up. #I like Hoodie's typical good-guy-with-a-banhammer personality #The swearing is pretty well done, and only used with characters it makes sense with #You know this group of wierdos all too well Cons #Another part of the user warrior trend...ugh #Shirtless hugs...as a story beggining... #Introductions. They're these things that prevent me from being totaly lost #For something so long, not much happens. It's just walking and talking. A bit more action would help, not anything too crazy, just something to hold the reader along. #Seriously. For someone who's not on chat as much as some other people, they would get totaly lost. Final Rating Not bad, and cirtainly interesting, but confusing at times. It has decent writing, but is quite funny, and I want to see more C Inner Sanctum Pros *Future Ninjas. Awsome *The writing isn't bad. It is, however, a bit minimalistic *I kinda like the whole plot with the ninjas and the villian *Besides the sneaking out Gohan was in character pretty well *And what do you know. Goten was in character too Cons *The whole story feels pretty rushed. There is very little intoduction or description. *The prolouge was a bit vague *There isn't really much here *Planet Earth is in all caps. *How is "I KNOW YOU ARE THERE" a question? *Gohan wouldn't sneak out *Toad and Sock are generally bad and confusing names *It would have been nice to have some more introduction for...the ninjas from space *How did the space Ninjas go to Earth? *How does Ventura know what the Dragon Balls are? Overall: D The Crush Pros *I like the display of Arrika's brutality at the beggining. A decent development moment Cons *The bullet points are annoying *The caps is annoying *"Oh my god" is out of universe *Gohan wouldn't say "Imma" *Gohan, at this point, was married to Videl, and even if he wasn't, he wouldn't blush at another girl *Arrika is a serious Marry Sue. *How the fudge is she so powerful? *He wouldn't reveal the location of his house the the girl WHO JUST TRIED TO KILL HIM *...Why are the people who tried to kill each other falling in love...seriously *Arrika is not a saiyan name *Arrika, was, at the beggining, a typicall brutal saiyan. Then she just goes soft in 3 seconds. *Gohan wouldn't know what the Cold Empire is. He only knows Frieza, who his dad defeated. Trunks killed Cold *Arrika wouldn't walk. She could just fly *Chichi wouldn't let some random saiyan walk into her house *How was Gohan sweet? He tried to kill/defeat her with a giant laser blast *She just thawed out. How would the alien now she would kill her, or that she would care about the cold empire? Heck, why did he feel the need to tell her Final Rating: F Unspoken Pros *Interesting concept *And the writing style is pretty darn good, but not knock my socks off good * * * Cons *Likan should be capitalized. *The chapters feel a bit too short *A few spelling and grammar mistakes are made *I couldn't imagine Appule's father being the King's greatest warrior. Planetary Destruction Pros *... Cons *So Goku Vegeta and Broly are just fighting. Time, place, setting please? *Broly is OOC *Goku is OOC *Vegeta is OOC *Bad grammar *Vegeta would never say gay. EVER *Now there's all at some stupidly high SSJ level *Now Nappa...is...Just...ugh *No buildup Final Rating-F Unlike Inner Sanctum, which was pretty fun and original, this story is dull and just bad. I personally think that SS1 should just forget this fic and work on improving some of his better stories. Toobi Reviewed Universe 13 Gotek and the eye hurting fan fic of doom Category:Blog posts